excision of multiple fibroadenoma...

I just had an operation last Friday, Jan. 2, 2009, my surgeon Dr. Juanito Dy called the operation as excision of multiple fibroadenoma. The ultrasound image displayed above are the "things" taken out. The ultrasond machine only saw 5 adenoma or growths but when my surgeon opened up my chest, he saw 6, the sixth is just about .02 cms, comparatively small compared to the others taken out, the reason why it was not detected by the ultrasound machine.

Are you wondering if it was painful? Yes, it was. He injected anesthesia 4 times before I went numb. But then when he snips the growths out of my other tissues, I still feel a stabbing pain surge through my chest, before I knew it I had tears flowing at the corners of my eyes, but I was not crying. The pain was just sharp. I was awake the whole time, I tried to sway my attention away from the pain. I opened up a conversation with Dr. Dy, in the background I can hear scissors snipping away something, seems like I am hearing cloth being cut... but then I kept on talking. The operation just took a little over an hour... Finally it was over. I got 31 stitches. I'm amazed I was still able to stand when just a while ago, I saw myself bled.

This whole thing actually made me realize something. I am nothing compared to those people who had stage 4 C's, sure there's Cobalt and chemo, but then there is more to it... Life indeed is a mystery. You thought you had it all figured out but then suddenly it all comes in a rush and you get left with nothing but cold feet.

I also realized that I am still blessed, the people who matter to me love me. I still have a lot to thank for.

One thing more... I'm waiting now for the lab results for the adenoma. Hopefully, it's not what I am afraid it would be.

Hopeless

I may hurl jokes. I admit I make pranks just for the heck of it. But I don't belittle people... It's a mortal sin.

Before you say the other person is a moron, measure your intelligence first. How come he understood "it" right away and you didn't?

Before you say you are a "guy", shrug off your being a girl first. Isn't babbling a girl's trait?

Before you speak, make sure your mouth does not smell like a sock that has been worn for a week. It all boils down to the "intelligence". The mouth is just under the nose, but why is it that you were not able to smell the stink? Brain malfunction?

I can just guess. Hopeless me. A simpleton. Arghhh!

85

Are You in Love?

Your Love Score Is: 85

It's truly love. You have an amazing partner and a wonderful relationship. Your relationship isn't perfect, but you know how to work with each other to make it better. You both listen to one another, give freely, and do your best to make things work. While you have ups and downs like any other couple, you're good at getting through the bad times together. And although you find it easy to love your partner, you understand that lasting love doesn't come easily. You are both willing to give this relationship everything you have. And luckily, that's all it takes to make it work.

A letter each day ...

Yes, indeed... I have resumed my correspondence in the hope that I could obliterate what I feel in haste. With where I am, I tarry. With where I am, I could be found again.

Holding hands ...

Maayo pa sila... I guess all I can do now is wait.

Inner Blood Type ...

What's Your Inner Blood Type?

Your Inner Blood Type is AB!

Your personality is hard to define - you're very unconventional. And even if your personality could be defined, it would be completely different next week! Outgoing and shy, sensitive and thoughtless, you tend to have a very split personality. This makes you unpredictable. You can be a total angel - and a total devil. You are most compatible with: everyone! Famous Type AB's: Jackie Chan and Marilyn Monroe

US economic meltdown, another 'Depression' in the making... from an American point of view

I am really surprised by the somewhat complacent attitude that people have towards the recent Wall Street meltdown, and collapse of many parts of our financial systems. People now clearly see that Wall Street is in trouble, but I don't think that people yet see that the next shoe to drop will be for the crisis to hit main street. As the stock values continue to slide, companies will first stop hiring, and then they will begin to lay people off. As people lose their jobs, fewer and fewer people have money to buy things. As they spend less, companies make even less money, their stocks slide further, and then more people are laid off. This is the terrible spiral we are about to enter, and it will be almost impossible to predict how far down it goes before it hits bottom. I can, however, predict how I see the crisis unfolding.

The government, and the people, now are seeing that we have a very significant problem. The approach that the government is taking, with the support of the people, is to solve the problem by throwing money at it, and moving the country to a socialistic system. For example, when the economy first started to slide, the government's first response was a stimulus package that sent money out to everyone. This was silly. We have a terrible national debt, and our economy got in trouble due to too much spending and not enough savings. So what do we do? We encourage everyone to spend more. When this did not fix the problem, and in fact made the problem worse, the next thing we did was to start bailing out companies in trouble. At the same time as we are bailing out failed companies with failed management, that same management was receiving obscene bonuses and other compensation. Now we learn that much of the $1 Trillion bailout package will be used to buy equity in the failing banks. This is by definition socialism . . . government ownership of public companies. As the financial system continues to fail, there is now talk of another stimulus package.

It is clear that our approach to the problem, which was caused by too much spending and too much credit, is to throw more money at it. Presently, our National Debt is funded primarily by foreigners. Over 60% is held by foreign entities, much of it by countries like China, which might not actually be our friends. I imagine that very soon these entities will realize that we are in danger of not being able to service our debt and deficit, and that the only way for us to continue to operate is to monetize the debt (print money to pay it off). Just as we saw panic selling in stocks recently, we will see panic selling in treasuries. The US government will no longer be able to fund its operation and debt obligations, and they will do what they have always done . . . print more money. As this happens we will experience hyperinflation at a level unseen in our history.

I believe that this will lead to a new Great Depression, and the human suffering in the new Great Depression will be far worse than the last Great Depression. The reason is that in the last depression, there was some manner of social order in the country. If a man was hungry, he might try to steal your chicken in order to feed his family. He would probably not riot, burn, and pillage a shopping center. If we look at the response of people to various events in the last few years, we see that it does not take much to set people off into rioting and pillaging mode.

So, what should we do? Well, I have more or less given up on the government doing the right thing, so I think we as individuals need to be as prepared as possible. I am not a crazy survivalist. I think it is silly to buy a generator, or store food in the back yard. I think that there are some rational things that you can do. First, as a working person, are you doing a job that is really needed by society? It is like a huge game of musical chairs . . . when the music stops, will you have a chair? I believe that in any scenario, society will need and pay nurses, teachers, policemen, and those that manufacture needed goods like food, energy, or medicine. I think that if I were a salesman at Best Buy, a car salesman, worked at a health club or other such things, I would be concerned. If you work somewhere that offers goods or services which are not absolutely necessary, I would try and retrain and find a "mission critical" job as quickly as possible. The second advice I would give is to drastically reduce spending, and if you are in debt, get out of debt as quickly as possible. Downsize in what you are spending. Save more, give more, and re-evaluate what you consider to be a necessity. I would do things now like cancel cable TV, fire the maid, stop the health club subscription, stop manicures, mow your own grass, stop buying electronic gadgets, and re-evaluate plans for your children's college . . . can they attend a local university, and live at home?

I am not trying to frighten people, but based on my analysis, I am concerned that the economy has crossed the tipping point, and things will get much worse before they get better. Be prepared, and refocus on the things that matter . . . family, faith, and friends.
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Author is unknown but you can check out http://old-photos.blogspot.com/, author just use the initials PJM ...

New Days ...

Such blatant irony ... But then, it's how the cycle goes... So, why is everyone holding back?

Laughter for the Heart

I was trying to look for something on the net when I found something that really made my day. You might want to brighten up your day too... here's the link: http://psychology.suite101.com/article.cfm/kids_thoughts_on_love ... Enjoy reading!

A not so ordinary year ...

I was not actually expecting it will work and stay on for this long. I just made sure that I did my best with all the things I do... making sure that I do things out of what I feel and not expect anything in return. I am just living my life the way I want to live it. And with that I have more joy...

You are right, I have changed. When it was just me, it was all about me. My time, my effort, my concerns, my thoughts, etc. are all for me. But I love the way I am now because I have a lot more to offer.

Yes, I have changed. I don't usually laugh at small things. Now, things that remind me of you make me smile. Things that remind me of you are small things but they are powerful enough to lift me up when I feel trashy.

It's been a year now... It could have been another year. It could have been an ordinary year. Thanks to you, it has been extraordinary.

What Boredom does ...

While waiting for my vampire to finish her work at the cemetery, I got bored. A lot of things went inside my mind ... hmmm... eat.... hmmm ... escalations...wait! I'm done with escalations. Hmm... will update my blog.

I'll just write about my 7 pet peeves (in no particular order) ...

1. Dirty nails .... Grrrrr! Can you just cut your finger so that you will not have nails to mind. So gross! A nail clipper is not that expensive. Just so you'll know...

2. Unwashed dishes ... It really pisses me off when I see dirty dishes on the sink. WHY? WHY?... You are asking me why? Because it is a magnet for crawling creatures (rodents, ants, bugs, worms, etc...). I am not squeamish (most people I know are but have no right to be... ), I just do not want to be devoting my time crushing crawling things manually. Sometimes I do the darnedest things when I see crawling creatures and the worst is I could burn the house down. So as much as possible I keep the sink empty and clean.

3. Clutter ... is a very good indication that the occupant is a slob. The more clutter the room has, pinaka-slob na jud to sya to the nth power... Oh! And another thing, you cannot actually move well if the place is cluttered because you might accidentally touch or move something that's toxic (well, toxic na sya because dugay na man na xa na kalat diha, so ang mga germs nag-mutate na...). Sheesh! Even my laundry is folded. Tsk tsk tsk ...


4. Cramped spaces like elevators ... I'm claustrophobic. I will feel my world spin when I ride an elevator. Plus, the little girl who is barefoot is always there, she tugs at my bag sometimes. If only everyone can see her ...

5. Got stood-up or late ... Sabot gani, sabot! Unless hapit naka mamatay, maligis, or you went on a loo-hopping spree (isanitize ... euphemism dayon!) or basin really nakalimot jud ka kay napakong imong agtang sa pader (nganong napakong man sad?) ... If that thing happens, a escribo de aviso should be sent. Text lang po an hour before the agreed time, saying that you cannot come on time because of certain inevitable circumstances. Just so, that I could stop waiting and save myself precious time and effort.

6. Mga tawo na manluwa ... Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Can you just swallow it please. You could raise Yersinia Pistis from the dead. Do you need water? I can get water for you ...

7. Show-off ... Ackh! Save me. Worms will eat what you have anyway... I'd rather sleep.


Yey! My vampire is out of the cemetery ... I smell blood. Let me check her loot. :)

Plain sham ...

Someone once told me, "If it's an external source that gives you self-esteem, you can be sure it's counterfeit. Trying to live up to society's standards is one of the most powerful contributors to a false sense of self-worth."

It actually makes sense since measuring up to a certain standard alters your character, making you not "you". It's altered, almost adulterated.... Everyone is just like a body of water. On the surface it may appear barren and uninteresting. Under it lies a lot, your "self". It takes a lot of courage to take a plunge or even just test the waters, if you know what I mean.. What I see is you are trying to fit in. So now, convince me you are not COUNTERFEIT.

Boohoo ...

Stars and rooftops...

Haven't been writing lately and I know it would be easier to blame it on work (big grin...). Not been thinking too much too since I went home and got back here. I go home every after my shift tired but the feeling that I have someone to go home to unloads half of my stress. There had been shuffling at the office and also new appointees were named, somehow pictures (perhaps people...) are now falling into the right places. From an observer's point, changes here are for the better... I still get to smile (or scoff...) on stupid customers who does not know how to use their computer, moreover configure it's settings (... and they hail their country as a superpower, hehehe). Just happy that I do not have hang-ups with anybody. I can sleep well and wake up without guilts. I have peace of mind and I just don't know why. All I know is I'm loved. I'll still be looking at stars on my rooftop on a clear (and even cloudy...) sky.

On being 40 ...

They say that love is overrated .. Perhaps, yes. Just think that you cannot mold gold into something very pretty and exquisite if you do not heat it to melt it.

I am excited to go home on the 19th. It is my parent's 40th wedding anniversary on the 20th of this month and I heard that they want to renew their vows.

According to my dad, their marriage was not one made from heaven. Everyone in the clan knows that my mom is really tough, they say she's a real pain in the ass, stubborn and a bully. Through my Lola's story I learned that my mom's playmates will go home with their noses bleeding or their clothes torn after a fight. Stories that I do not actually believe because she is one soft person to me, very compassionate, caring and thoughtful. She gets us all four of her kids ready for school in a couple of hours (with the aid of my dad of course, he handles the cooking while my mom does all the school work and the clothes). Plus she has to work to send all of us to school.

My Lola told me that when my dad was asking for my mom's hand in marriage, Lola told my dad that Constance (my mom) is one tough nut to crack, oftentimes pushy and very stubborn. My Lola asked him if he can handle that. My dad still said yes...

For my dad, it is with my mom that he felt that it is time to stop running around. He loves my mom and he decided that he will spend the rest of his life with this woman... To make the story short, my dad experienced all what Lola told him about my mom. After giving birth, my mom will do nothing. All household chores are relegated to my dad for 4 months. He washes all the clothes (including diapers that has baby poop on it), cooks and cleans the house while my mom takes care of the baby. My mom said she did not hear any complains from my dad. Well, maybe it was his decision to take care of all the things that needs to be done inside the house. Nobody told him to .... he just did. They almost broke up but decided to get back together. My dad said he cannot leave my mom because he cannot imagine himself growing old without her... My dad got hospitalized and was diagnosed with acute lymphoma. My mom never left his side.

Until now I still see them tickling each other (at the kitchen) or their eyes will meet and they'll both smile. They still eat together nya dugay mahuman ang dinner or lunch kay nagtabi pa silang duha, giggling while talking.... My dad is 67 and mom is 64.

I have three siblings and we grew up complete. The girls and the youngest guy have mom's temperament. My kuya has my dad's soft character.... If I need to say something to my Nanay and Tatay, that would be Thank You...... because I am whole.

The Hard Lessons on Love and Men… by Aileen Endaya

1. A man won’t let go if he really loves you.

Do not hold on to someone who has let go of you. He does not love you and does not value having you. Believe me, he will not let go if he really loves you. There is another reason he is not willing to tell.

2. Do not look for reasons why he ended the relationship.

There is only one reason why he ended your relationship. He just does not love you. Do not waste your time thinking of reasons or what you should have done. Move on and be open to a man who will truly love you.

3. Do not get hang up on your past.

Do not nag or distrust your current boyfriend just because your ex hurt you. Do not treat him or the relationship the same way. Do not compare. He will not react the same way as your ex. Do not be worried that your simple mistakes will cause him to look for another girl. What happened with your ex was not your fault. It was not because you didn’t guard him enough or you didn’t make him happy enough.

4. Do not look into images.

How many times have you met a girl who didn’t have the best image in school or at the office, but you get to know the girl and found out she was actually extremely nice? Do not rely on images. Oftentimes, it is far from reality. Do not fear men just because your “supposedly” perfect ex-boyfriend mistreated you.

5. Always have your own set of rules.

Set your limits on how far you’d go for a guy. It’s perfectly ok to give and do everything as long as it’s worth it. And it’s worth it if the guy is treating you right.

6. Do not be scared to lose him.

Don’t be scared that he’ll break up with you. Once you are afraid of losing him, you easily can be taken advantage. Be strong and if something is unacceptable, do not accept it and speak up.

7. Avoid calling your guy.

It’s a guy thing. The relationship will definitely be better if it’s the guy who’s calling, not the girl. He will get tired of you if you keep on calling. He will lose interest and challenge. More so, he will get annoyed. But it’s a girl thing also that your fingers get too itchy until you dial his number. But avoid as much as possible. Call only if really needed (like checking if your suspicions are reasonable).

8. There is a guy who will value you.

There is a guy out there who can make you feel valued, appreciated, and loved. And I mean, not just during your first few weeks together. So don’t lose hope. Don’t settle for a lesbian if you are not attracted to women. There is a man out there who can love you like a girl can (*wink*).

Also, do not believe him when he says it’s just the way he really is. He’s not the sweet or expressive-type. Remember during your first few weeks together? Where has that sweet guy gone? He simply is not that into you anymore.

9. Always be the only one, no matter what.

Do not ever fall for a guy who has another girl, be it his wife, girlfriend, or any girl that he says he just can’t get rid of for whatever reason. If you truly believe that he loves you and for some reason, he can’t leave or let go of another girl, then you are no different from any ordinary mistress.

10. He must respect you.

No matter how long the relationship has been, he should always show respect towards you.

11. If he fooled you, end it.

Philandering once is enough. You can never trust nor respect the person again.

12. Never start a relationship the wrong way.

Do not steal another girl’s man, for whatever reason. Nor should you enter a relationship for the wrong reasons (loneliness, on the rebound, getting back at your ex, man-dependency, etc.) it is bound not to last. You will only end up wasting more years of your life.

13. Do not force yourself into a relationship.

Do not get into a relationship just because your friends are getting impatient with your dating escapades and the one hasn’t come yet. Do not choose who to say yes to based on superficial things like money, looks, cars, etc.. If you are even thinking of these things, you have not fallen in love yet.

14. Do not settle.

If you are not happy anymore with your relationship, break up instantly. He will not stay with you forever no matter how upright he might seem to be. Eventually, he will also want love and happiness in his life.

15. A relationship has to have love.

Love is the only thing that will push you to give your efforts into making the relationship work. And believe me, keeping a relationship requires genuine efforts of both parties.

16. Don’t be afraid to be single.

It’s fun to be single, try it. You can go out whenever and wherever you want. You are free. You can date whomever you want and you get to go out for free! Do not get a boyfriend just for the sake of having one. Do not settle.

17. Be a good girl.

Be a good girl to attract a good guy. Enter the relationship with sincere intentions. Take the guy and the relationship seriously with the plan of spending the rest of your life with that person (of course, this is after you had your bit of fun in your younger years). If you compare your flings from your real relationships, you will know that the latter makes you happier and more fulfilled.

18. Love without limits.

Whether you loved and gave everything or loved but held out for some things, if the relationship ends, you still get hurt. But if you gave your everything, you were happy and you could say that it was worth it. If you didn’t give your all, you get hurt for nothing.

19. You will get over him.

Love is over-stated. Love eventually ends and you are free to love another.

20. Be the one.

Act like you are the one. Don’t be a nagger. Don’t hinder his gimmicks. Don’t give in to him too easily. Make him treat you as important. Don’t be easy. Don’t be like every other girl he had in his life.

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Thanks to Jeby Dayola...