Tuesday, May 6, 2008

The Dream ...



I admit, the place is really pretty. The sand is so fine that it feels like you are walking on velvet. I can feel the waves' soft movements, constantly lapping on my calves. The sun is slowly going down the horizon and the sky is turning hazy red and tangerine. Where could he be? Less people are on the beach now, mostly just combing the shoreline to unload their worries, bending occasionally to pick up something on the sand that they fancy... Maybe I should think less too.. I can feel the cold winds now, blowing my hair away from my face. The chill, something unwanted, but somehow I want more of it.

Where could he be? I have been sitting on this spot for 3 hours now, with someone to keep me company, his hands on my knees, talking, being silly, empty talk, unsure answers to open ended questions, no more questions please, uh-oh, he shot another one, cannot find an answer, my mind, it's floating somewhere ... somewhere else, it's with him. Wind, can you do me a favor?... Can you please carry me to him, wherever he may be ... Then I felt a finger tracing my arm then a saw a smile... Sorry, I need to go.

I struggled up the dunes with no sure footing, with his hand on my hips, then there you are staring at me, with that betrayed look on your face... I felt a hand hit me flat on my cheek, I spat but I can still taste my blood... It is not what you think it is... Eyes, open.. Slit eyed ... A bit dark ... Chest heaving, I'm losing ....No, no. Losing you, no! ... My hand scanned for something to hold ... Yeah, my bed ... Yeah, a dream... Breathe hard, settle... breathe easy now ...

Eyes slowly adapting to the dimness of the room, a form beside me, his head on my chest ... A familiar scent. O God, I thought I lost you.. You opened up your eyes and hugged me closer. You stared at something I cannot see, then you looked at me straight ... You said you just had a dream, in your dream you broke up with me ... Saw me with someone on the pool, careless, uncaring, not mindful ... You said you were hurt ... You said you were shamed ... You were still saying something when I touched your cheek to pull your head closer, but I felt water trickling down my palm ... Tears ...

Tears for my blood ... and the dreams .. we shared almost the same dream ... a trick! Or is it? I don't even care ... I think you know.