On our 3rd...

I was actually looking for a cute cake to post in here but I did not find any... But then I have these, 3 candles. I do not want to put ideas as to why there's pink, green and yellow. But I'd guess you'd know how to interpret these colors. All I need to know is that, you are my migraine. I am sorry that today's "event" is not much. Hearing you snore beside me is one very special treat though... it's 3am and I am smiling like crazy...

I will make it up to you but I can't promise when.

Thank you migraine ko. We will be facing another year....... again.

Another Surgery? Not again!

What you see is the ultrasound result from my ER episode last Sept. 13, 2010. The size is approximately 1.6cm. I just had a surgery last Jan. 2 of last year and now I get to have another one? Not again! Then my sisters (both nurses) called me up, dead worried since they know that gallstones can deliver one of the most painful "attack". Told them that I only get the "attack" after dinner and only if I ate pork. They laughed and told me to not forget to steer away from alcohol too... bad bad sisters...

Then here comes Kuya, asking me to stop eating chicken skin, chicharon, french fries, hamburgers, pizza, etc... WHAT!? Me without the most glorious foods in world?... (crickets chirping at the background)... All I can say is "yes, Kuya." Then I guess he detected a certain sadness in my voice, he then said "you can have pizza but NOT always (with that special stress on the NOT word)... and oh you can have chocolates too but go for the dark one." Yes, Kuya... sigh*

The Rape of Nanking

It's a weekend and I get to watch of films again... I picked out a not so noticeable DVD on the store stand and went home with a smile. The DVD stored 8 films, all of it Chinese films with subtitles.

The City of Life and Death caught my attention, little did I know that the film talks about the Rape of Nanking, released last 2009 after 6 months of screening by the Chinese Film Bureau. It is directed by Lu Chuan.

The Rape of Nanking is one of the most notorious war crimes in history, taking place over several weeks during the Second World War from late 1937 to early 1938 when the Japanese imperial army captured the then Chinese capital. After entering the city the Japanese troops went on a period of sustained atrocities against the surviving inhabitants, raping, carrying out summary executions, looting and wholesale massacres of both POWs and civilians. Children as young as a day old are being thrown out of windows only to be caught by a bayonet of a smiling Japanese soldier. Nanking is reduced to rubbles. These atrocities are familiar to me as it also happened during World War II when Japan invaded the Philippines.

The 132 minute film has fictional characters interlaced with real characters (Mr. John Rabe, a Nazi businessman and Minnie Vautrin, an American missionary). It is a black and white historical feature which made it look like it came from the archives. Personally, it's good in black in white so that most of the scenes will not appear as gory as they are in full color.

The transitions were simple, excerpts of Mr. Rabe's diary served as a division from one week to another. I also like the mock celebration dance performed by the Japanese soldiers to celebrate their siege of Nanking, they are depicted as planting rice but it resembled driving bayonets into fallen soldiers.

In general, the film is a moving rendition as to what really happened in Nanking, the juxtaposed historical and fictional character served as a distancing between reality and history. The film is nothing short of political, but it is the not theme. What revolves around the film is the humanity in each of the character, the pain, the sorrow, the will to make sense of everything in the midst of chaos and the tendency to embrace anything that give's purpose. But in the end, death is always the easy way out.

Life in a day...

I will be having my nth birthday this month and apparently, that means I am getting older. When this year started, I went into deep introspection of what I had been last year... I am proud to say that I did good last year. I had received blessings and according to my nanay, even hardships are blessings...

As I go home everyday after a hard days work, I make sure that I think of how my day ended. Sure there are times that I will feel crappy at the end of a day of I always look forward to the next as a better one... Always.

I am not much of a principle person. But I believe in 6 things that could make my life a walk in the park, not necessarily an easy walk in the park but something to ponder on while "walking"...


1. Be at peace with myself
this is very very hard... I am telling you based from experience
I have to accept myself, all of it... the smelly feet, the unruly hair, bad teeth, my heavy body and the large chunks of blubber on my belly... hell, I can even hear myself snore.
I have only myself most of the time. If I can accept myself then there is a big possibility that I can accept people and be more tolerating.
To be at peace is also to be HONEST with myself...
In most people, this will be a struggle that could take years before a decision could be made.
We cannot run from ourselves. In one way or another we have to acknowledge that we have problems (attitude problems, relationships..) and face it with humility.


2. Go through even just one day in a week with out spending
this too is very hard... but I make it a point to make Thursday a non-spending day.
This is something I had to do because I am not a thrifty person. I am an impulse buyer, it's like a disease. My disease...


3. Pray before going to sleep at night
I am not a religious person but I always pray at night before I close my eyes. It is my only way of saying my thank yous for everything that has happened during the day.


4. Not let the day pass by without saying I love you to people who matter
You will never know when you'll join HIM. I had to let the people I love know I love them. It does not have to be I LOVE YOU in words, actions will do...


5. Laugh
even if it already feels stupid... even if there are a lot of people... even if it's only you who understood the joke...
laugh until there's tears on your eyes... until you tummy muscles ache


6. Accept that NOT all people are happy that you are YOU
a few people will envy you ... Of what? You might not know... But let it go. It is a good thing that you are NOT taking anybody's humanity... Let things be.
they will hate your guts ... just let them hate you more
it is much better if you don't do anything against them because believe me, there is a thing called KARMA... it is much wiser to let them be


this is not much but it makes me stay focused...