"Long Calls and Long Distance "

As I was browsing through a friend's blog, I stumbled into something interesting,though the title was not that catchy (LONG DISTANCE LOVE AFFAIR),and it's overused. I've had a long distance relationship once, (the person was away for 2 months) but I admit that it is not actually enough to test what we have because we were just barely into our second month. I am sure about what I feel, but I was not so sure if I can deal with the distance. Honestly, I am a touchy person. I want to feel the other person inside my arms and I draw comfort from that. I'll just quote her blog as we try to 'disect' her points.

A quote from the blog:

...... Today, we hardly have any excuse not to be able to communicate, what with all the unlimited texting and unlimited phone calls and all the sorts available in the telecommunications business. In short, just as long distance communication isn't as costly as before compared to the cheap means of communicating now, long distance relationships aren't as impossible to keep as compared before.
So why is it that most long distance relationships still doesn't work?

All means of communication now has become cheaper, yes. It's not good to blame the distance as the culprit for a failed relationship. So if a long distance relationship is not working, I'd blame the persons involved. Even under tight circumstances, if the persons involved in that relationship, are willing to work, they believe and make things happen according to how they want it to be, then everything will be ok. Now, I'm not saying that everything will be "smooth-ok". There will be times that sacrifices are necessary and even if you give up something, it will not give you the results that you were expecting. I've heard friends say that it's tiring to be keeping up with the distance because you have to make phone calls, write letters (pwede sad email, hehehe...) and I admit that you do have to spend your time, effort and money to close out the distance. And sometimes, your phone conversations don't end well (you fought over something) , or dugay abot imong snail mail (snail lagi so madugay jud na...) or imong email was redirected back to the sender. Frustrating, isn't it?

Quote na sad (some lines are edited to paraphase points):

..... lack of communication was the primary factor why these (sic...long distance relationship) kinds of relationships fall apart. We still hear lots of troubled hearts looking for answers why they lost their love. Some are asking why the person they loved the most don't love them anymore and still others ask why they are beginning to fall for someone else.Doesn't this make us realize that love is not just a matter of being able to communicate after all? We are still experiencing the same problems now as we did before, thinking that the barrier in the communication process was the main culprit in broken relationships.

So, let's establish as part of the argument that the lack of communication (not the distance) is the primary factor why long distance relationships fail. Hmmm... Yes, you know that you are on the other island, that a body of water (hmm... duh... island lagi) is between you and you can really feel the weight of his/her abscence and then you feel like your head is spinning and your stomach is starting to get upset (over na ni.. OA). How about if you just think of how things were when you were together? Just think of how her pinches hurt or how his underarm stinks ... hehehe... kidding. Anyway, maybe he/she left you something,say, hmm.. like accesories, a ballpen perhaps, an old sticky note. It's something you can touch. You were in his/her mind when he/she gave it, so it's like giving a part of oneself. Be happy (and contented) with what you have. Don't look at the things that you don't have because sakit lang sa buot.

Personally, I have to learn how to be contented with what I have too, letters niya and some pictures. I heard one friend say may rason kun kayano hiya mabalik ha iya hometown (there is a reason daw)... Yeah, the reason is that I need to be taught how to be happy with just my memories, the memories that I've made with the other person. My memories became my food, it fed my hunger. My memories also became my air, it keeps be breathing. My memories became my motivation in waking up and make some more memories. It was hard at first but it became natural eventually, and before I know it, we were talking hours (3-4 hours) on the phone.It also holds true with your memories of home, my memories of home is what makes me grounded, me being me. My memories are my sanctuary. It's where I cower just in case things start to fall apart (luckily we're still together).

My point is, to erase the distance, for you to feel that the other person is real, you'll have to believe in what you feel, breathe it and feel it. Now, you will not see the distance anymore, and time, effort and money will not matter . Everything has become natural and you'll always find a way.

Another quote from the blog (na naman):

....... I figured out the hard part is searching for the one person who would actually believe that you two can make it and respect you for your views. It's amazing how true love changes the perspective of a person. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not really one to say it with a period much more an exclamation point at the end of this sentence but I am quite sure I have had my share of long distance relationships and somehow I've figured out how it might just work.So how is it possible for long distance relationships to work if only one of the parties believe in it? It takes two to tango as the old saying goes.

Good point! Both parties should believe that you can make it, and both should be willing to work on it, though both of you stand on opposite extremes (but still love each other all the more for it... according to Jenny). Effort is needed to keep the line of communication between you open, constant effort that is. If everything for you has become natural, you will not see the effort you did. I'm just so lucky enough that I have found someone who believed in me and willing to make things work.

Now, back to my other world. :)