She seemed to be suspended in eerie silence. All walled up in a world that is vast yet empty... Walls she herself made. Hoping to drown the loud crack of lighting outside and rain. It's just so dark ... so dark.
She ran away when she was just 14. Left a home that is cold and has never been like a home to her. Lived in the city and tried her best to live the life she wanted. Living on money sent by an aunt. She made ends meet by skipping meals and walking from a rented place to her school. She went to college and finished her major. Made friends and loved a guy. Now she can't even remember her mom's face...
She has a sister... biologically they were sisters ... but then, that's just it. She has been ranting about what her sister achieved... A sister who is a Philippine Military Academy graduate and now a Philippine Naval officer. Here I am sitting in front of her, one she considers a friend but it appears like she cannot see me. Her lips are moving just as fast as her thoughts... Ranting ... Oblivious of a presence. Claiming the space and the air... I can feel her anger... The air is starting to get bitter. "I can actually leave anybody now including Dan, I have no hesitations. I don't want anybody on my way when I want something ... I am tired of taking care of people ... ". Her words are cold. Her chest heaving like she just ran ...
As I leave my workstation that day, I realized that no matter how you ran away from your past, it always has a way of catching up with you. She may think that she left her past but she took it with her. Her anger and the bitterness are obviously from her past ...
It's the worst case scenario of someone who's trying to escape from the past. It eventually consumes the person and ends up empty. The past just hovers around and does not go away ... ever.
I just hope that she wakes up from her sleep... Now that she is talking to her sister for the first time in 15 years.
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