VIP rooms of regret .....

Is it alright to have VIP Rooms of Regret in our lives?

I know it's a bit late for me to post an article about my birthday. But I cannot shake off the thought that I just turned 30 and I still feel I need to do a lot of things before I say bye-bye (which I feel is going to be sooner than what I am expecting).

Nothing much happened on that day that I turned a new lease on my life... I spent the day with my migraine, received a gift (although I do not like getting gifts, I always anticipate things nga gikan niya, don't care if it's insy-weensy in size). And also spent the next day with my migraine too because it was our monthsary (just turned 5 months and still counting). I am happy with my migraine and this is just the way I want things to be.

My birthdate actually was the time that I started talking deeply with myself again. I can observe that my patience don't last a mile these days when I can normally endure a day of battering without getting ticked off. It's easy to blow my top off these days and honestly I cannot even find reasons for it.

Since my birthday, I had been talking to a friend (Macy, my own personal shrink,took psychology and struggled to reach the finish line) and she is suspecting that I'm either slowly sinking into depression or burning out... I'm not sure which of the two is happening (could be both) but nonetheless the thought that what I feel are symptoms of either of the two, is scary. I don't want to fall into depression again because I've been there and it's very ugly. Depressed people are in a way twisted and I know how that feels. I thought,oh no, not that way again. If I just feel that I'm burning out, it's going to be okay because I can just take a leave and immerse myself into oblivion and come back, start over again fresh. Sometimes, I would look at my migraine and think that I have a lot to thank for. I am lucky, yes I am.

So here's the question again... Is it alright to have VIP Rooms of Regret in our lives?

Life is too short to be spent on regrets (.......heard this line from my Abuelo) and it's just right that I don't give up on myself that easy. Ok! You can say it is easier said than done but hey, at least give it a good fight. I just refuse to be relegated to the background and wallow because I know I will not get anything from that. I need to be a friend to myself. Some people love me and I do not see any reason why I should not love "me"........ I apologize to those people who gets a taste of how blunt I can be, it's unintentional.

I can just hope that I can shake these ugly feelings off soon because its eating me up inside ... Ugly feelings are in for a good fight.